Welcome back to the Somatic series!
This series is where I’m using somatic psych theory to help people learn and map out their autonomic nervous system, develop a healthier relationship with themselves, and eventually build stronger communities.
The last chapter introduced the 3 somatic exercises that I’m going to explain and demonstrate to help you learn and map out your specific nervous system.
This chapter is going to cover Grounding:
- What it is
- How it works
- How to use it in practical situations
- And a transcription (and linked video below) of me demonstrating my favorite grounding technique.
Here are the video versions:
- Part 1 covers what grounding is, how it works, and practical uses
- and Part 2 covers an explanation and demonstration of 1 of the ways I clinically and personally use my favorite technique, the 54321 grounding technique.
Explain Grounding to Me, Pierre, Like I’m 2
Like I mentioned in the last chapter, the whole point of grounding is to get you back to the present moment and back in your body.
When you are in fight/flight, in shutdown, or any of the survival mode responses, your whole brain and body is focused on surviving the danger, whatever it is. That’s useful in the short-term, but by now, you know that we can’t stay in survival mode forever. Even though it’s how our bodies help us manage stressful and/or dangerous situations, it just isn’t healthy to be in that mode full-time. Grounding and getting back to the present moment is the 1st step to regulating your emotions.
The internet, social media, and pop psychology in general make grounding seem like it’s all you need to do to reduce stress, etc and that’s just not true. That’s very misleading. I’ve had to explain to every single one of my actual clients that grounding might make you feel a little better, but that’s not the actual point of doing it, and it’s definitely not a quick trick to being stress-free. Remember what I said in Chapter 7 about being more present: You might notice less anxiety or shutdown symptoms after grounding, but if your emotions are intense in that moment, grounding by itself most likely is not enough. You could actually feel even more anxious or angry now that you are more in touch with your present feelings. Grounding is the 1st step, and 1 part of the tools you have to improve and nurture your relationship with yourself.
As uncomfortable it can be sometimes, getting present is the 1st step to feeling better. Like many things, the way out is through. You can’t do any other somatic exercises, connect with yourself/your intuition, or even ultimately heal your triggers without learning how to be present 1st.
I like to use a skating or swimming metaphor to explain this to my clients:
When you are in a fight/flight state and that sympathetic energy is kicking, it’s like being inexperienced on some roller skates. Things feel like they are moving out of control, and you are not sure what to do with your body. So what do you do? You let yourself catch the wall so you can regroup and stabilize yourself.
Or let’s say you are feeling some dorsal vagal activation or are in full shutdown, it’s like being deep at the bottom of a 10 foot pool. You need to kick your legs to get to the surface to breathe (aka the present moment) and swimming to the surface is the grounding technique.
Make sense?
Practical Applications
Here are some ways I use grounding in my clinical work with clients and in my own personal somatic work:
Grounding into Pleasurable Moments and Sensations as a Way to Ease Your Body into Being Present
~ This is a great way to dip your toe into being more present and this is, generally, the strategy I go with when helping clients whose major coping strategy is dissociating. When someone’s body is so used to being in a protective, low power mode, it can be hard to convince your body that being present is the way out. Especially when being present can feel scary at 1st because you have to learn to acknowledge and sit with the emotions your body was trying to escape by checking out. Going slowly and using pleasurable feelings/experiences to practice being present with is a nice, gentle way to start.
~ Or if grounding into pleasurable moments isn’t appealing for whatever reason, you could ground into noticing nature or a piece of music that’s interesting, etc.
Grounding *Before* Pleasurable/Enjoyable Activities
~ In Chapter 5, I talked about the goals of somatic work. One of them is learning how to enjoy the pleasant moments in your life: contentment in small things, truly celebrating your successes, etc. So you can enjoy it in the moment, so you can remember it later and feel the same joy, and so you can share that joy with others. Due to people being in constant survival mode, it can be hard to truly enjoy moments that are supposed to be fun. Or to allow yourself a break in the grind to sit with your success or to actually feel it when people try to celebrate you. Or it can be hard to remember the pleasurable, good times, but really easy to remember the last time you were annoyed, anxious, angry, numb, etc.
~ Grounding yourself before doing something pleasurable/nice allows you to be present enough to fully enjoy it and lock in the memory so you can come back to it and savor it later like an awesome leftover meal.
Grounding Yourself into Excitement
~ Contrary to social media and a lot of pop psychology, grounding yourself into the present moment does not have to be a chill, meditative experience.
~ Grounding yourself into rewarding and exciting moments can be another way to practice being present and to practice experiencing ventral vagal related feelings.
~ If you have ADHD especially, this would be a great place to start grounding, since it’s easier to focus on something when there’s dopamine involved.
Grounding to See if You Are Hungry
~ When people are stressed, shut down, dealing with chronic trauma, or in the zone, etc., it can be hard to figure out when you are hungry or what hunger even feels like.
~ Grounding helps you be more present in your body, which is the beginning of addressing your relationship to hunger and food. As you become more and more comfortable learning what your body is trying to communicate via the physical sensations you feel, it becomes easier over time to figure out what hunger feels like and what your body needs.
Grounding Before Making Decisions
~ Think about how you are when you are annoyed or angry, tired, feeling depressed, feeling trapped, people pleasing, playing around, and feeling chill. Those are all totally different versions of yourself that act differently even in similar situations because your POV is different in that moment.
~ Grounding yourself into the present is the 1st step to regulating your emotions before making any major decisions. This is also part of the work necessary in emotional regulation, being more intentional, applying critical thinking, etc. We can’t avoid all regrets, obviously, but this is a way to reduce making a choice that you regret in the future because you were feeling a certain way in that particular moment.
Grounding as Part of Prepping for Something that Makes You Nervous
~ Part of the self-soothing process.
~ I’ll get into this more in the body scanning chapter, but being able to recognize that you are feeling nervous/anxious and then grounding yourself back into the present moment so you can figure out what you need is an essential skill to learn.
Grounding Before or With Your Community as the Way to Start a Connection Intentionally
~ How can you really enjoy a moment if you are not fully there to receive and experience it? Grounding can also be (and has historically and culturally been) a connecting experience between people and within groups. Practicing grounding as a group helps everyone be present enough to get on the same page.
~ A great thing to practice (in a group that trusts each other on a basic level) would be to ground together and ask what each person needs in that moment specifically. And not in a non-profit way. In an actual, authentic, genuinely asking, and wanting to support kind of way. What can be done before, during, and after to support each other?
Grounding Before Checking In with Your Body or Before Doing a Body Scan
~ This is 1 of the most common practical ways to practice grounding, at least in my work. Grounding before a body scan (we’re covering body scans in the next chapter) is so important to make sure that you are present enough to figure out what’s going on with you and your body.
~ Gotta make sure you have full bars before you can call up your nervous system (via a body scan) and see what’s going on.
Grounding Video Demonstration/Transcription
[The video starts with Pierre seated with a door and a blank background behind him]
[Heading: “Grounding Demonstration”]
[Pop-up: “9m 1s”]
[0:00] Pierre: “Alright, now I can finally show y’all my favorite grounding technique, both clinically and personally. It’s known as the 54321 grounding technique.”
[Pierre gestures to count down from 5 to 1 with his right hand]
[0:10] Pierre: “Five things you can see, four things you can touch, 3 things you can hear, 2 things you can smell, 1 thing you can taste.”
[Subheading: “The 54321 Grounding Technique”]
[0:20] Pierre: “So why is this my favorite grounding technique?”
[Pierre holds up 3 fingers]
[0:22] Pierre: Three reasons.
[Pierre touches thumb]
[0:23] Pierre: “One, it’s pretty simple to do.”
[Pierre touches index finger]
[0:26] Pierre: Two, it involves the five senses so it’s somatic-related, which I like.”
[Pierre touches middle finger]
[0:34] Pierre: “And three, it’s easy to customize it, according to your needs or the situation.”
[0:40] Pierre: “Oh, obviously, if any of the five senses don’t apply to you, if you don’t have access to it, for whatever reason, then just skip it.”
[Pierre shrugs and claps once]
[0:52] Pierre: “Everyone has days where they have higher energy days and days where they have lower energy. What I like about this technique is it’s able to match whatever energy you’re feeling at that time.”
[1:07] Pierre: “Alright, so let’s say you’re feeling stuck, you can do this and lay in your bed and not move. You could be sitting in a chair, or sitting behind the wheel, or um, laying on a couch, right? And you don’t really have to move all that much. Right? It’s just moving your eyes.
[Pierre moves eyes from side to side and follows with his right index finger]
[1:28] Pierre: “Maybe it’s the amount of movement it takes to breathe in and out. Um, the amount of energy it takes to just feel what your body is kinda in contact with, without necessarily having to move. Um, taste could be as low energy as, uh, running your tongue along your teeth, like-”
[Pierre runs his tongue along the front of his upper row of teeth]
[1:48] Pierre: “Right? Or just kinda tasting the inside of your mouth and seeing if you can taste anything there. Like this could be a low, low energy sort of thing, right?”
[Pierre adjusts glasses on his face]
[2:04] Pierre: “But let’s say, you’re kinda shut down, but you can benefit from some movement. Ok? Right? Small, gentle movements though, right? If you’re shut down, we’re trying to help you gently come out”
[Pop-up: “See videos on how to move through your nervous system using the NYC subway map for more info on how to get out of shut down”]
[2:17] Pierre: “Remember, you’re like a turtle in its shell. So that’s when you would incorporate the small, gentle movement.”
[2:23] Pierre: “But let’s say you have a lot of pent up energy in here, right? And you wanna move. Well, there you can make this a scavenger hunt in your space. Like, you could, um, run across the room.”
[Pierre chuckles]
[2:41] Pierre: “Like, if you’re working with children, you could do relay races across the room to grab things or to touch things. You could go walk quickly or, you know, I don’t know, cas-cas [short for casually] walk across the room and look at something really close, you know? You could go from one side of the apartment to the kitchen, right? And taste something in there. Um, I mean, there’s so many different ways. You could, if it’s safe to, go outside and smell the outside air and that’s like, one thing you could smell.”
[Pierre is now wearing a black hoodie]
[3:14] Pierre: “Oh, really quick note: uh, when you do this grounding technique, try not to zoom through it. You don’t just want to be like, “Oh I see a hat and I see a cat and I see a scarf and I see a pen.” You don’t wanna do that. You wanna go, “I see a black ballpoint pen, right? I see my black ring. I see, my, you know, I don’t know, my orange cat, right? Add a little bit of detail, um, one, it will help slow you down and two, it’ll help you come back to the present a lot easier than you kinda zooming through this. Allow yourself to kinda slow down with the moment or allow yourself to catch up to the moment. But rushing through this, isn’t gonna hit the same as much as adding a little bit of description.”
[4:14] Pierre: “So I’m personally in fight/flight right now. So I’m choosing to create a little chill moment for myself to ground into. I’m choosing this way to apply the 54321 because this typically is the most common homework I give clients first when it comes to learning this skill. Especially if they dissociate a lot or, if for whatever reason, being present is really hard for them.”
[4:47] Pierre: “Alright. So, let’s get started. I have my comfortable clothes on. I have my tea.”
[Pierre lifts up his thermos]
[4:55] Pierre: “I would have some music playing in the background, but I don’t want this video to get taken down so let’s just imagine some Luther playing, alright?”
[Pierre holds up 1 finger]
[5:04] Pierre: “I can see myself in the camera, talking to y’all.”
[Pierre holds up 2 fingers]
[5:12] Pierre: “I can see my black hoodie in the camera. It looks really comfortable because it is.”
[Pierre holds up 3 fingers]
[5:20] Pierre: “I can see, three, the silver bottom of my thermos.”
[Pierre holds up 4 fingers]
[5:26] Pierre: “Uh, four, I can see the gray and black top of my thermos.”
[Pierre holds up 5 fingers]
[5:33] Pierre: “And five, oh, I can see the ring in the camera. My black ring in the camera”
[Pierre touches his glasses with both hands]
[5:42] Pierre: “I can touch my glasses. They are plastic and very firm. Let’s see, oh, I can touch, that’s one.”
[Pierre holds up 2 fingers]
[5:56] Pierre: “Two, I can touch my ring. Um, it is black and smooth.”
[Pierre holds up 3 fingers]
[6:04] Pierre: “Three, I can touch my hoodie.”
[Pierre rubs the fabric of the hoodie with his right hand]
[6:16] Pierre: “It is soft. And smooth.”
[Pierre holds up 4 fingers]
[6:14] Pierre: “Ok, four, I can touch the zipper on my hoodie. It is metal and firm.”
[Pierre holds up 3 fingers]
[6:23] Pierre: “Alright so three things that I can hear.”
[Metal sound]
[6:32] Pierre: “Um, oh ok well, I can hear my ring on my thermos”
[Pierre intentionally taps his ring on the thermos 3x. And then shakes the thermos from side to side]
[6:34] Pierre: “Um, I can hear my tea in my thermos. Um.”
[Sound of thermos being put on a coaster]
[6:43] Pierre: “And that was the sound of me putting the thermos down.”
[Pierre holds up 2 fingers]
[6:46] Pierre: “Two things I can smell. Um. My hoodie?”
[Pierre smells the sleeve of his hoodie]
[6:51] Pierre: “Um. Smells like laundry.”
[Pierre adjusts his glasses and smells his the sleeve of his hoodie again]
[7:02] Pierre: “Doesn’t really have too much of a smell to it. But yeah, it smells like, clothes.”
[7:07] Pierre: “But yeah, oh, my tea.”
[Pierre picks up his thermos, opens it, and smells the contents, closing his eyes]
[7:15] Pierre: “Mmm, smells like mint”
[7:17] Pierre: “And one,”
[Pierre picks up his thermos and takes a long drink of tea before closing his eyes for a moment and sighing]
[7:29] Pierre: “It’s warm. It tastes like mint. Um, it is-I can feel it kinda go all the way down so that’s really nice. I really wish I had some Luther Vandross playing right now.”
[Subheading: Let’s Debrief the Grounding Exercise!”]
[7:48] Pierre: “And so you would do this as many times as you need to until you’re in the present moment.”
[7:54] Pierre: “Are there any physical sensations that you didn’t really notice before that you notice now? Are there any changes that you notice now, now that you’re present? In general, what is your body trying to communicate with you?”
[Subheading: Other ways to ground yourself into a nice/pleasurable moment]
[8:09] Pierre: “Some other really easy ways to ground yourself into pleasure or into an enjoyable moment: You can ground yourself while listening to music or playing an instrument, you could ground yourself while hugging someone or while cuddling someone, you could enjoy nature and ground yourself in that moment, you could enjoy a really good meal, or if you like cooking, you can ground yourself into the whole cooking experience. All the smells, and tastes, and sounds, etc. If you enjoy movement and dancing, you can ground yourself into that moment. There’s so many different options. Um, explore the things you enjoy, big and small, and see if you can ground yourself into those moments.”
Thanks for reading. The next chapter is going to cover how to use a body scan technique to learn, map out, and check in with your nervous system and body.